The Unseen Movie Review

The Chronicles of Riddick

In a summer which has seen two sequels, to Spider-Man and Shrek, actually improve upon the originals, it is a shame that the same can’t be said for The Chronicles of Riddick. This would be more accurately titled Pitch Black 2, as Vin Diesel here reprises his role as the bizarre-eyed anti-hero of the sci fi shocker from a few years back. If you haven’t seen the original, it is well worth hunting out. In fact, you could watch it at home for far less than you’ll waste going to the cinema for this mindless, artless nonsense, and actually have a moderately entertaining time to boot.

Vin Diesel appeared to have a lot of promise when he first appeared as one of Tom Hanks’ band of brothers in Spielberg’s blockbusting World War Two epic Saving Private Ryan. His distinctive voice, used to good effect in the animated hit The Iron Giant, appeared to suggest some kind of actual acting ability to boot, as did his turn in the cult hit Boiler Room, lauded at the time as a late 1990s Wall Street.

Diesel’s hulking physique and apparent ability to merge tough-guy with talent was soon spotted by studio execs, who had been desperately hunting for the next Sly/Arnie ever since the action heroes of the 80s had started to look a tad doddery. He even had a cool-sounding name (who cares that it isn’t his real one?). His first outing as the lead got the execs slathering: the low-budget sci-fi cult hit Pitch Black. Despite being a blatant rip off of the James Cameron classic Aliens it was well enough put together, with a cunning enough central premise (which also kept the effects budget down), that it did surprisingly well.

The prime problem with the sequel is its star, Diesel himself. Ever since the glossy dross of The Fast and the Furious, Diesel has lost it. That movie, another moderately entertaining but mindless showcase for the potential new action hero saw him sink into a near-monosyllabic grunting delivery which has since become his trademark. XXX was more of the same – the fame had started to get to his head, and his talent seemed to have declined in direct proportion to his salary’s rise.

That Diesel has lost it is no surprise. The real shock here is the presence of some genuinely good actors: Thandie Newton, Linus Roache, and – most shockingly or all – our very own Dame Judi Dench. Perhaps she thought she’d try and follow the lead of her old Royal Shakespeare Company acting partners Sir Ian McKellen and Sir Ian Holm and make a move into blockbuster territory. She picked the wrong film to try and make the crossover.

You’d expect some silly choices from a meathead ex-criminal like Diesel, but not from an actress with the talent and experience of Dame Judi. The fact that she struggles valiantly on with what she must surely have realised to be utter rubbish is testament to her professionalism, but she – and Newton and Roache – are wasted here. So would your time and money be if you head to the local multiplex for this one: save it for something entertaining, or at least something that isn’t so palpably unoriginal, boring and idiotic as this.

posted by Nosemonkey @ 12:00 AM